Posts filed under ‘មេរៀន​ថ្ងៃ​នេះ’

How to Be Emotionally Intelligent

What makes a great leader? Knowledge, smarts and vision, to be sure. To that, Daniel Goleman, author of “Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence,” would add the ability to identify and monitor emotions — your own and others’ — and to manage relationships. Qualities associated with such “emotional intelligence” distinguish the best leaders in the corporate world, according to Mr. Goleman, a former New York Times science reporter, a psychologist and co-director of a consortium at Rutgers University to foster research on the role emotional intelligence plays in excellence. He shares his short list of the competencies.

1. SELF-AWARENESS

Realistic self-confidence: You understand your own strengths and limitations; you operate from competence and know when to rely on someone else on the team.

Emotional insight: You understand your feelings. Being aware of what makes you angry, for instance, can help you manage that anger.

2. SELF-MANAGEMENT

Resilience: You stay calm under pressure and recover quickly from upsets. You don’t brood or panic. In a crisis, people look to the leader for reassurance; if the leader is calm, they can be, too.

Emotional balance: You keep any distressful feelings in check — instead of blowing up at people, you let them know what’s wrong and what the solution is.

Self-motivation: You keep moving toward distant goals despite setbacks.

3. EMPATHY

Cognitive and emotional empathy: Because you understand other perspectives, you can put things in ways colleagues comprehend. And you welcome their questions, just to be sure. Cognitive empathy, along with reading another person’s feelings accurately, makes for effective communication.

Good listening: You pay full attention to the other person and take time to understand what they are saying, without talking over them or hijacking the agenda.

4. RELATIONSHIP SKILLS

Compelling communication: You put your points in persuasive, clear ways so that people are motivated as well as clear about expectations.

Team playing: People feel relaxed working with you. One sign: They laugh easily around you.

***

Source: The New Times

ខែ​មេសា 8, 2015 at 8:41 ព្រឹក បញ្ចេញមតិ

11 Questions Every Twentysomething Should Ask

Your twenties can be a rough time. You graduate college. You get a job—not necessarily the one you always dreamed of. You may move to a new city and start trying to establish yourself. But a lot the time, you’re just not sure where you’re headed—or even where you want to be going.

Often, the question of “what now?” plagues us in our twenties like chickenpox. The more we scratch, the worse it itches. The overwhelming vagueness of “what am I doing with my life?” can crush us like the bully who sat on our head in third grade.

Our twenties can feel like being smothered in questions, but if we don’t ask the right questions, we will forever remain stuck.

After years of struggle, studying, searching and being un-glamorously squashed over and over again, here are 11 questions I believe every twentysomething needs to ask to be successful:

 

OUR TWENTIES CAN FEEL LIKE BEING SMOTHERED IN QUESTIONS, BUT IF WE DON’T ASK THE RIGHTQUESTIONS, THEN WE’LL FOREVER REMAIN STUCK.

 

1. Do the people I’m surrounded by bring me life?

Are your friends taking steps forward or are they still playing beer pong in the basement? Do you leave from hanging out with friends feeling anxious or alive? Are your friends anvils tied around your ankles or jetpacks helping you fly?

Your life will resemble the lives of your closest friends—does that fact excite you or freak you out?

2. Who inspires me the most?

Think about the one person you most want to emulate. Who is it? Now what is it about their story or character that draws you to them? Write down the words that come to mind. The person you want to be like the most tells you a lot about who you hope to become.

3. What are my favorite stories?

What are your top three movies? Is there a common thread that runs through each story?

If you want to see what matters most to you, look at the stories that resonate the closest. For me, the common thread in my favorite movies is the underdog who perseveres through pain, thrives from their authentic self and succeeds at something sane people would never attempt.

Your core values are lying on the surface of your favorite stories.

4. Would I want to live with me?

 

Before you start thinking about living with someone else, do you even want to live with yourself? Have you opened up your closet doors and faced your monsters?

 

Too many people go into relationships hoping that they will fix all their problems, when relationships actually have the magical ability to show you how many problems you really have. Like a third-rate magician, marriage puts big things behind a curtain, but does nothing to make them disappear.

If you don’t like living with yourself, is it fair to ask someone else to live with you?

5. Do I love from my insecurities or do I love from my strengths?

Loving from your insecurities demands from others. Loving from your strengths gives to them. Loving out of your insecurities means you don’t want to see people succeed more than yourself. Loving from your strengths means you are the first to celebrate with others when you hear of their successes. Loving from insecurities daily demands “what are you going to do for me?” Loving from strengths asks others, “what can I do for you?” Too many people love from their insecurities, and that’s not love.

6. Where am I ripe with talent and where do I quickly deflate?

We all have talent. And we all have loads of non-talent we keep trying to transform into talent. Write down a few things you’re talented at and a few things you’re not. Then focus on the things you’re good at. Stop trying to chip away at that solid cement block when you have a soft block of cheese just waiting to be devoured.

7. What are my favorite hobbies/things I do for fun, and are they something I can leverage into a career or product?

I recently heard John Saddington speak, a serial entrepreneur who’s probably best known for creating Standard Theme for WordPress, and he urged the crowd to examine our hobbies.

There is something you have spent more time doing than most people in the world. How can you leverage that experience into something that could make you money? For Saddington, he loved online computer games, so he started an online dating service for gamers. He knew the gaming world and he knew websites, so he put those two together and had an overnight success.

For me, it’s telling stories. So I started writing them down.

8. What’s the main thing holding me back?

Is it an addiction? Anxiety attacks? Depression? An obsession with pinning pictures of rock-hard abs on Pinterest while drinking? What is the main thing that is keeping you from moving forward and who can help you cut the chain?

 

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE UP AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO CLING TIGHT TO?

 

9. What are my negotiables and non-negotiables?

What are you willing to give up and what are you going to cling tightly to? Are you willing to move anywhere, but you’ll never take a job that expects more than 40 hours a week? Is job flexibility a non-negotiable, or is it job-stability? Write a list of non-negotiables and negotiables, and then do your best to stick to that list.

10. What breaks my heart?

What injustice makes you angrier than a parrot being poked with a stick? And what’s something you can do about it right now? Knowing what breaks your heart can clarify what makes you feel whole.

11. At 29 years and 364 days, if I have accomplished just one thing, what do I want it to be?

If you only had the choice to accomplish just one thing in your twenties, what would it be? How do you take one step toward that today? Our twenties can feel like trying to walk with shoes covered in fast-dry cement, so how do we keep moving forward? Is it a phone call to ask for an informational interview? Is it asking a crush out on a date? Is it making an appointment with a counselor? What’s one small thing you can do today so that you can go even further tomorrow?

Source

ខែសីហា 14, 2013 at 10:54 ល្ងាច បញ្ចេញមតិ

I have learned…

I’ve learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned-
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I’ve learned-
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

By Omer B. Washington

ខែ​ឧសភា 10, 2013 at 1:55 ល្ងាច បញ្ចេញមតិ

What You Do Defines Who You Are (and What You Get Out of Life)

We’ve all got that friend – the one who is always talking big, like they’re going to start this amazing new company, write an inspiring novel or change the world. In fact we probably have more than one friend we hear constantly talking about big future plans.

The problem I have noticed with not all, but many of my peers (20-somethings) is follow-through. Ideas are everywhere, but motivation is seemingly nonexistent. Life doesn’t start tomorrow, life is happening right now. Successful people know this and are focused on achieving their dreams and goals 24/7. It’s more than an obsession and a passion, it’s what they are living. Instead of talking, they’re doing.

Does what you’re doing at your day job support your overall life goals?

Are you equally excited for personal projects as you are projects at work?

Do you actually have any personal projects?

Do you have a passion?

Are you refining/advancing your skills and knowledge of something daily?

Do you know exactly what you want in life?

These are all big questions. But I guarantee you successful, motivated and passionate people not only answered yes to all of them instantly, but they even knew the what and why as well without much thought. If you didn’t answer yes to all of these, it may be the day to rethink your life.

I’m 25 and know exactly what I want out of life and the ways I plan to achieve it. In fact, I’ve known for years. One of my peers told me, that “I’m lucky to have found something I’m passionate about.” I disagree with that. I’m not “lucky” to have found it at all, it was a combination of my unquenchable thirst for knowledge, my desire to pursue independent learning and the fact that I can’t stop reading and consuming information.

If you haven’t found it yet, that incredible spark and excitement for life, here’s the reality: it isn’t just going to randomly happen or fall into your lap. It isn’t the result of lots of money, nor is it the result of chance and circumstance.

It is the result of freeing yourself mentally and engaging your intellect. It is the result of breaking away from your peers and delving deeply into a niche. It is the result of focus, determination and motivation. It is the result of an internal drive that is unstoppable.

How do you find a passion? There’s so many engaging, interesting and ultimately fulfilling things to spend your free time (and your work time) doing. The question is how can you notfind a passion?

Once you’ve found it, it’s amazing and indescribable – no one can sway your thoughts and your concentration. When you know exactly what you want in life and what really drives you, you’ll never again be bored, tired or unfulfilled. Seemingly boundless inspiration and motivation will be brought forward.

Friends have called me “because they are bored” and I never understood it. I’m not sure how it is possible to be bored, life itself presents infinite challenges and mysteries, but only finite amount of time to explore them. That’s why having a focus is vital – we’re all only given X amount of time to accomplish what we set forth, and you certainly cannot do everything.

People who spend their free time engaged in a passion are happier, more creative and more dynamic in their personality than those who merely spend their time as consumers of vapid entertainment pop-culture. Getting sucked into that is a waste of life and (in my opinion) leaves smart people unfulfilled. It’s essentially fast food for your brain – small amounts once in awhile are fine, but I can’t understand how people live off of it.

Do you come home from work and simply fall down in front of the TV where you spend your time until you sleep? If the answer is yes, perhaps you should consider living life yourself instead of by proxy. You’re going to wake up one day regretting how you spent your limited time in existence. A human lifespan is but a cosmic blink when you consider the age of the Earth, our galaxy and the universe. It’s precious, it’s rare and it is happening right now. To waste it is to give up the ultimate gift.

I feel like most of you reading here understand this, and if you do this post was not for you.It’s for everyone who is living life by proxy and for those of you who haven’t yet found a passion and embraced your true, creative self. It is not too late, you can do it. Start today.

ខែ​ឧសភា 10, 2013 at 1:44 ល្ងាច បញ្ចេញមតិ

5 Simple Ways To Keep Your Mind Sharp

The importance of keeping your mind sharp cannot be overstated. We’re all part of a fantastic intellectual and information economy, which thrives on ideas, creativity and intelligence. Keeping your mind sharp is sure to give you the edge over the competition, and more importantly lead to your own higher levels of happiness.

When your mind is in top shape, you will:

  • Have greater motivation and focus
  • Get more done
  • Come up with more creative ideas
  • Find inspiration more often
  • Remember more
  • Experience a better life

I’d like to share a few practices I’ve found are extremely beneficial in keeping my mind sharp and can help you as well:

1) Continue reading, absorbing knowledge and experiencing culture
Sorry to use a clichéd quote, but education is not preparation for life, education is life itself.It should be something pleasurable and done for intrinsic reasons above all else. Read blogs on subjects both within your field and in new fields you know nothing about; read books; watch lectures on fascinating new subjects; read about ancient societies; take in a new form of art you’ve never experienced; you get the idea. Challenge your mind to continually broaden your horizon and soak up new information like an infinite sponge (that’s pretty much what it is, you should use it to do just that).

2) Learn a skill or craft you’ve never tried before like playing an instrument, composing music, painting, building a model airplane, or even coding computer programs. 
Engage your mind in learning a new skill. You’re never too old to do this, but this is definitely something you should start as young as you can. I started composing my own music at around 17, and in retrospect I wish I had started even younger. You’d be surprised how much learning a new skill will open up many new paths in your mind and help you become even better at whatever you are already an expert at. You’ll also open yourself up to tons of new connections and intellectual social circles by engaging yourself in a new hobby, form of art, or trade.

3) To improve memory don’t write everything down
If you can, try this for a week: write down everything you need to do at the beginning of the week, as you normally would, but take your list and put it out of sight. Instead of keeping that list visible at your desk, internalize your projects and simply remember and know what needs to be done, prioritize it in your mind, and do it. Your brain is extremely powerful and you’ll find that, in time, you may not have to write anything down to remember everything (you can still keep a list for reference, but it’s great not to need it).

4) Give your mind time to assimilate knowledge
We live in a culture where we are constantly experiencing and learning new things and taking in new information. This is a great thing, I’m not going to go into the information overload spiel, I don’t really believe in that anyway (you are in total control over how much information you take in at once). But in your process of absorbing new skills, knowledge and life experiences; internal analysis of yourself, what you have learned and where you are going is vital to put everything in proper perspective. Some people do it well during running, others through listening to music, and some people through making art. Find your own place that allows you to assimilate all you have learned and frequent it often.

5) Eat well, sleep well and exercise often
Giving your mind the proper rest and energy is essential to getting the best performance out of it. This one is pretty self explanatory, but people often forget that you need proper fuel and proper rest to function optimally. Also, putting your physical body through the paces is a surefire way to rejuvenate yourself mentally. If you’re ever feeling stressed, out of inspiration, or depressed, a few days of nutritious food, good sleep and vigorous exercise will put you back to your full self soon enough.

ខែ​ឧសភា 10, 2013 at 1:42 ល្ងាច បញ្ចេញមតិ

Active Vs. Passive

Active people use the Internet to express themselves and learn about their world…passive people watch TV.

Active people strategize their life plans and work to accomplish their goals…passive people wait for a miracle.

Active people cook their dinner fresh…passive people microwave something frozen.

Active people walk around a new city they are exploring…passive people take cabs.

Active people spend their lives pursuing their dreams…passive people have a midlife crisis.

Active people don’t wait for opportunity, they create it…passive people need it handed to them.

Active people blog, submit op-eds to their newspaper, and are influencers…passive people purely consume news.

Active people make their own opinions on things…passive people let others make up their minds for them.

Active people analyze all their options and choices before making a decision…passive people go with whatever is easiest.

Active people build their own…passive people buy it.

Active people are artists, writers, builders, influencers, trendsetters and decision makers…passive people just are.

Active people volunteer, give calls to action, help others and make their world better…passive people complain.

Active people make art…passive people negatively criticize it.

Active people read and have an infinite thirst for knowledge…passive people haven’t read a book since college.

Active people are passionate…passive people don’t know the meaning of the word.

Active people spend their weekends pursuing their dreams, hobbies, and inspiring others…passive people spend them on the couch.

So are you an active or passive person?

ខែ​ឧសភា 10, 2013 at 1:41 ល្ងាច បញ្ចេញមតិ

10 Tips To Recharge Your Creativity

Creativity can strike randomly. Sometimes, we find an overabundance of it. Other times, we can go for weeks, even months stuck on a project and unable to move forward to something new. But sometimes you can help give it a nudge…

When I’m not doing marketing or web stuff, I’m writing music. I was pondering today all the things I do in between composing music, or when inspiration just won’t strike and thought I’d share a few tips I find help recharge my creativity.

Hope you find some of these useful (in no particular order):

1) Exercise – Get up from your computer, music studio, art easel, whatever your craft and have a jog or a swim…this is a fantastic way to clear your mind. Get away from traffic, go to the beach, the park or some type of green space and connect a bit with natural surroundings. Your personal studio may be a creative space (although some prefer them stark) but undoubtedly some time in natural surroundings, especially stretching your muscles is a wonderful way to clear your mind. In removing excess energy, you will in turn remove excess baggage from your mind. The mind always follows the body.

2) Hit up the local coffee shop – Get a double espresso, but don’t just head right back to work. Stick around for a bit and interact with some of the people hanging around. I’m just as guilty as you are at ignoring the world and spending weekends in a row for months at a time locked away in the studio experimenting with sounds or perfecting that new track. But even if you plan to work for a whole weekend, when you’re going to get your coffee at least put aside 15-20 minutes to interact with other people, then return to your work. The right people are extremely inspirational. Starbucks is good to grab your coffee and go, but try to find a unique/local place to get good conversation.

3) Try a new genre – If you’re way into industrial rock and listen to it 24/7, undoubtedly your going to end up following a bit of a stylistic pattern and formula with your music. But you may be pleasantly surprised by what’s out there. Seek out an artist who is not the obvious choice in a genre you don’t normally listen to. You may pick up on stylistic cues which you never thought of incorporating into your music, and a unique crossover sound may emerge in your mind. You could even fall in love with that synergy. As my musical mentors taught me, unlikely combinations can sometimes yield the most inspired results. This is true with any form of creative work.

4) Seek out a mentor … or an apprentice – If you’re just delving into a new artistic form and are hitting roadblocks or barriers, a mentor is the best thing to move you forward. I’m a huge fan of the master/apprentice relationship, and believe it is worthwhile for both sides. If you’re an apprentice, you’re getting the obvious benefit of working with someone who has years of experience. If you’re the master, working with a bright-eyed aspiring artist will prove a breath of fresh air for you, and you will not only be giving something back to your art form but your apprentice may one day come back to truly inspire you. I have worked to assist two aspiring artists and I believe both of them are already far greater than I will ever be. All they needed was a bit of a push with the technical side of things and then their creativity has soared. It is as rewarding of an experience as making art itself.

5) Add something new to your repertoire – If you’re a music producer, try out a new synth. If you’re a visual artist, check out some new adobe plug-ins. If you’re a writer and stuck on a desktop, splurge on that new ultra-portable laptop so you can work anywhere. These are all just fun ways of mixing things up and perhaps stirring up new creative juices. Sometimes you’ve been working with the same tools so long you may have tapped them completely…at least for new ideas. I’m not saying give up your favorite tools, but sometimes adding something small, but new will spark your creativity in a whole new direction altogether.

6) Share your work with someone new – Let someone new experience your work. Just one person – don’t create a new marketing campaign for yourself, actually seek out one of your friends or acquaintances who you have never personally shared your art with and ask them if they would like to see or hear or even taste (if you’re a culinary artist) something new you have created (or perhaps something old). Get their feedback. You may find that they the most unlikely person is moved by your work and turns into a big supporter for you – perhaps even inspiring you to something new. Take an interest in their art or interest as well.

7) If you’re a musician read, if you’re a writer listen to music – Experience an art form completely outside of your specific craft. When I’m not making music, I personally find sociological studies, music literature, (reading about your craft is acceptable) and philosophy infinitely compelling – but it doesn’t matter really – just read something that moves you. The style you read may subconsciously influence your creativity in music. Alternatively, if you’re a writer or a painter, listen to music. Try something without vocals as to not direct your thoughts in any specific direction, but direct your emotions which in turn will provoke your own, original, unique thoughts.

8) Break your routine – This is an easy one. Take a weekend off from making music – but don’t do what you normally would do in your free time. Try going to the local planetarium for a laser-light show, or visit the botanical gardens near you. If you can, get away for a weekend from your house and visit a friend you haven’t seen – somewhere far enough that it’s at least a 2 hour drive or plane-flight. The drive in itself may prove inspirational (I find long car-trips to be a fantastic time for introspection). Whatever your journey, you should come back with a fresh perspective.

9) Go to a show, art gallery, etc. – Seeing art come alive in action at a concert or taking the time to visit someone’s gallery is not only a fun and wonderful way to only inspire your own creativity, but it also inspire theirs. Artists of all types should support each other, and it is reciprocal for us all to work to encourage each other. These are also the best places to find like-minded individuals and artists and really connect with them. Generally, you’ll come back from any social gathering of artists and have more ideas to work with in-studio than you know what to do with – e which is never a problem.

10) Find a new form of art – I’m well aware of the importance of keeping your focus on your specific craft, but the benefits of having another form of art to nurture as well may surprise you. I find writing words and music to be mutually enjoyable and have engaged in both practices for years. I even find the two inspire each other. I do find that many of my peers in audio production are fantastic visual artists as well. I could never draw, but I find that those friends of mine seem to get a wonderful synergy out of their visual works. Many creative souls easily find a niche within more than one form of expression without spreading themselves too thin.

ខែ​ឧសភា 10, 2013 at 1:38 ល្ងាច បញ្ចេញមតិ

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